Because nerds like numbers, here are some statistics (these are a little gross, so be warned):
-Number of times I've woken up to a neighbor banging on my front door as a result of me having passed out on a Friday night with Appetite For Destruction playing loudly on repeat: 1
-Percentage of my sneezes that result in a bleeding nose: 5%
-Average ratio of cans of Coke that explode in my face when opened to cans of Coke that do not: 1:3
-Total number of people that are quieter than me, according to my coworker: 1
-Ratio of number of times that I was sick with the flu and farted a little bit of poop in my pyjamas to the number of times I really, really hoped that I hadn't just shit myself: 1:1
-Number of times that I've forgotten clothes overnight at a laundromat: 2
-Approximate percentage of my life that has been spent battling constipation or diarrhea: 15%
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1 comment:
you give up on this or something?? you havent posted in a week
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