I was at the grocery store yesterday and I dropped the hugest jar of pickles onto the floor. It was awful. There was glass and pickles and pickle juice and shit everywhere. It reeked.
I'm ashamed to admit it (FYI, this is one of those brutally-honest type of blogs), but I let out the stupidest little squeal when the jar slipped from my fingers and so the entire store looked over at me just in time to watch the spectacular pickle explosion. I was just standing there empty-handed like an idiot, being all like "Uh, there's something wrong with my pickles."
I'm pretty sure that the pissy 15 year-old with the mop and the attitude called me a "retard" under his breath when he came to clean up the mess (or possibly some sort of variation, like "dick tard"). I need to find a new grocery store.
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